Before TMS I Was the Loneliest Guy

Dr. W: So you – this is more like returning to your old self.

SP: And more yes. 

Dr. W: Nice! So now when you wake up in the morning you look forward to the day. 

SP: Very much so. That’s what I want. I have my day planned and boom boom boom. Before that I was like “oh my god what am I gonna do what do I do” right. Now I’m just ready to take any challenge, anything.

Dr. W: How depressed do you remember being? Because I remember how depressed you were when you came in, do you remember that?

SP: Yes. For not seeing my family for a year a year or so, I couldn’t make it I mean I didn’t think I was gonna get a way to make it on my own. Financially I was not doing that great. Trouble at work and you know dealing with people it was not that great I was really depressed to the point that I didn’t see a way out.

Dr. W: I remember in the consult that you really didn’t engage. I had a very very hard time getting you to say anything.

SP: I’ve been like that all my life, not talking not approaching, not engaging. Now – like, I’m the type of guy when you talk to me I don’t I don’t talk back even if it’s not my fault or whatever I don’t engage I don’t talk about just whatever. But now hey, you want to fight you get  a fight. You’re nice to me I’m nice to you. You want to engage be friendly, I’m going to be the friendliest person. But before that I was the loneliest guy ever sitting in my corner doing me. It’s not just me in the world now. I realized that I have a better relationship with my children now my family, my peers at work. Some of them are [gestures], you know every workplace has that [yeah] but I can manage.

Would I have to take an antidepressant for my whole life ?

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