SP: I feel lighter or brighter there’s a feeling that my mind is not going 90 miles a minute it’s more peaceful and relaxed so I’m able to appreciate what’s happening and not be so concerned about what’s gonna be happening next or what I haven’t gotten done or what I did. Like I’m not obsessing about well I said something and it’s just like okay.
And my husband says that I’m easier to get along with which is really nice because I want to be feeling better at home and with the people that I’m with the most that’s where it counts for me. And he has dealt with this depression for as long as he’s known me and we’ve been married for 27 years so it’s a long time and he’s been through me with hospitalizations and times when I can’t even move from such deep depression so for him to see me like this weekend. I just very comfortably went about some tasks that needed to be done or that I had been with putting off and I just did them and they were done and it wasn’t like any big problem.
I went in my office which has been my big horrible burden of kind of kind of it’s my symbol of my depression and just things and I just went in there said okay now I’m gonna do this and so I did that and then I took I made some room in the hall for my grandson’s puzzle but his games and put them in there. And it was like I just could make decisions without feeling getting that frozen like I’m stepping back out of this room and I got to go sit and I’ve got to play a game on my phone for I don’t know how long because my anxiety just went up the wall not knowing that that’s what it is but just feeling so that I can’t can’t can’t think I can’t move I can’t do so I just avoid and I haven’t been avoiding.
I got some clothes the other day that came in the mail and yesterday I wrapped them up and we can puts the label on to return them and they’re sitting there and I’m gonna take them you know it’s something that I don’t usually do so I’m it’s like I’m freed to be who Sharon is. I mean it’s it’s not like I’m skipping around and like but you know it’s just then I feel more me.
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