MB: It’s interesting because you know I had anticipated some side effects and initially there weren’t any side effects. I went for a week and just slowly – and Dr. Hubbard was very specific about this is exactly how you’re going to do it – and slowly I started lowering the medication lower in the medication there were no side effects. I have to admit that at the end of that tapering down when I got to the point of what there were there was no medication at all it hit me. It hit me hard. And honestly I think I don’t know compared to this but it seemed like a good size dose of medication and it hit me hard. But it was hard. But a lot of those things that I talk about being able to sleep, being able to eat well, just having a stronger sense of ownership over my body physically, that’s been a huge benefit of getting off the medication. And I know that that medication while it served me [sure] when I absolutely needed it, and I didn’t need it, [yeah] then it came to a point where I didn’t need it anymore. And it’s a tough process, [yeah] it is I’m not gonna lie.
Dr. W: And you certainly can’t do that alone so I mean you did it very responsibly.
MB: No and also too, if nothing else not just for the direction but the reassurance that this is okay, this is part of it you know. And but absolutely you cannot do it willy-nilly. You can’t just go “hey I’m all good now” you know, “I don’t need my meds” and stuff like that. You’re all good now you don’t need your meds, but it’s not that it’s you’ve got to do it a very very specific way. And even still I felt you know side effects and they have slowly but surely dissipated and they’re still I mean it’s still pretty soon for me. I mean it’s just been recently that I’ve gotten to the point where I’m not taking any medication at all. But it’s steady a little bit at a time have the the responses, the withdrawals starting to dissipate and I’m feeling better all the time. But it’s just that feeling of having that ownership over my emotions and my body you know, being strong physically and emotionally. I haven’t felt like that a long time and so that’s the thing that when I think about it if anything it brings me to tears because it’s been so long, it was so hard, and I just feel like “finally, gosh. I’m just I’m me.”
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