SS: Life is not perfect because I have all these behaviors like of wanting to hide and to like not having confidence that I’m have everything it takes so. And I’m not like this anyway where I just you know, say I’m just gonna grab life by the horns and just ride it and… But life is good I’m not tortured like I used to be. I don’t have guilt feelings like you used to have just existing, like I feel stronger. I feel like I deserve to be here. I feel like I deserve to breathe the air and take up space and I deserve to advocate for myself – and I do advocate for myself. With my husband and it just comes very naturally which is bizarre to me because I always would mind screw myself with “where am I being selfish” and “where am I taking care of myself” and for some reason it’s like it’s just there like I just know. You know what, at least in this short period of time where I just need to take care of myself and that’s unusual for me because I don’t like not having any thoughts in my head and I don’t like feeling numb to things.