SS: It has been life-changing. Before I started I frankly did not know if it was going to work for me. I’ve been pretty massively depressed for 10 years and I just couldn’t get better with my medicine and so I’m so grateful I got referred for TMS. And I did have to wait for six weeks to get off of um marijuana that I was using to try to help me with my anxiety. And so anyway when I was starting I was already feeling a little bit better since I hadn’t been on marijuana for six weeks. So I doubted that I was wondering if it was even really gonna help me that much because I was feeling better.

And anyway I did start it and it was hard to show up every morning in the beginning but I felt very connected with my treater. She was very kind and patient with me yet coming every day gave me some structure which was very helpful for me. It was something I needed. And I had a break in my treatment uh two weeks in I got sick and had to take the week off until I got better.  And anyway once I came back and I started my treatment again I started noticing some changes. I’ll never forget I was sitting in bed and I had an email pop up something I had to handle with work and it’s something that in the past I would have taken as such a negative and I would have had a lot of really negative self-talk and it was different this time. Without any effort I was able to get into the solution and I didn’t go down around all the negativity I just had this attitude of, okay well I got to deal with this. I got up I went took care of what I needed to take care of and I’m not saying it felt wonderful but it was so different and that was life-changing for me. And so anyway that was probably my first experience with really seeing “oh my gosh well this uh treatment actually is doing something for me.” 

And anyway I still thankfully just so glad that I had to come in every day because – well Monday through Friday – because  I had a connection with my treater and I kind of needed something to believe in. And she just would talk about her life and what she was doing and I would start to do some of that stuff in my life like just go for a walk at a little park. And I just started noticing some nice things about life and that’s unusual for me and life had been really difficult for me for many years. And I mean it was a successful day if I could just take care of my hygiene you know – taking a shower and getting my hair even putting on makeup and getting my work done that was a successful day. And you know looking back I don’t even know how I did it for so long I just am glad I’m so grateful that new technology has come about, Dr. Wycoff. Now that I’m feeling better, I’m amazed that I was able to live the way I was living for that long because I didn’t know. I forgot and I don’t even know if I really knew that life could be better and anyway I just remember I tell my mom like during some of my really darkest days life just shouldn’t be this hard. And anyway life is not that hard now that I’m feeling better.